Ansinag
Isang Pag-aninag Sa Ating PagsinagArchive for GIYA (Patnubay ng isang pa-biba)
Fw: A Soulful Relationship =)
If you’re not married yet, share this with a friend. If you are
married, share it with your spouse or other married couples and reflect on it.
An African proverb states, “Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye.”
Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don’t let
lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem, make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don’t fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren’t really important.
Once you decide to commit to someone, over time his or her flaws,
vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you’ve got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two unique individuals – children of God – who have decided to share a life together.
Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best in each other?
Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete,
compare, and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can’t take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can’t make someone love you or make someone stay.
If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and “a life”, you won’t find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain.
Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship! Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.
What keeps a relationship strong?
Communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household
tasks, some getaway time without business or children. And daily exchanges: a meal, a shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note. Leave a nice message on the voicemail or send a nice email.
Share common goals and interests. Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other, giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure. Don’t try to control one another. Allow your mate to have outside interests. You can’t always be together. The difference between ‘united’ and ‘untied’ is where you put the I.
Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment.
Learn each other’s family situation. Respect his or her parents regardless. Don’t put pressure on each other for material goods. Remember ‘for richer or for poorer.’
If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace the passion.
ON HOW TO BE A HAPPY SINGLE =)
Written by Leslie Ludy, an author
Productive Singleness
When we are willing to allow God to use this season of our lives for His purposes, we discover an incredible truth: Singleness doesn’t have to be a time of passive and futile waiting. Instead it can be an exciting adventure of active preparation. Let’s look at some of the ways God may be using singleness to mold us into His likeness and prepare us for a future relationship.
1. Singleness can strengthen our inward character qualities.
Godly Contentment
I remember learning a great lesson from the movie Cool Runnings. It’s a story about a young Jamaican athlete who has a lifelong dream of winning a gold medal at the Olympics. After a series of events, he finally makes it to the Olympics, his heart set on winning. But just before the competition, his coach gives him an important piece of advice: “Listen, kid. A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if you aren’t enough without it, believe me, you’ll never be enough with it.”
Tyler, a 25-year-old single musician, points out that the biggest struggle most singles seem to have, himself included, is assuming that once a relationship comes into your life it will make everything perfect.
“I don’t want to put off living,” he told us with sincerity in his baby-blue eyes. “My life doesn’t start once I finally get married; my life has already started. I want to soak up every day for all it’s worth, not just wait around for things to be perfect. I want to enjoy each year of my life to the fullest.”
A relationship is not meant to make us into a whole person-only Jesus Christ can make us a whole person. Marriage should never become that gold medal we strive for that will finally make us “enough.” We must learn to be “enough” right now, just as we are, in Christ alone.
While getting married someday may bring us great joy, we truly do have a reason to be happy and content no matter what season of life we are in-because of what Jesus Christ has done for us. True contentment can only be found in an intimate love relationship with the Lord, not in anything else, including a romantic love story. Singleness can teach us this contentment. In this season we can learn what is means to have peace and joy in Christ, no matter what our circumstances may be. And in a culture that is always longing for something more, “godliness with contentment is great gain” (1 Timothy 6:6, NIV).
Gaining the Strength to Stand Alone
Sometime ago Elisabeth Elliot made this profound statement: “Loneliness is a required course for leadership.”
During a time when I was single, I felt completely alone-away from friends and family, away from Eric, away from anyone who really knew me-and these simple words gave me perspective on the purpose for my loneliness. God was using the loneliness to teach me complete dependence upon Him. I could no longer look to other people for my confidence. I had no choice but to find my courage and hope in Him. This kind of total dependence on the Lord was preparing me to become more effective for His kingdom. I was gaining the inward strength of character I would need to become a leader for Him.
A true leader must have enough backbone to stand alone, even when the crowd wants to take the easy road home. A true leader cannot be dependent on companionship for his or her security, but must learn to trust in God alone. Singleness can give us this kind of backbone-courage, confidence, and leadership skills that any effective Christian must learn.
Discovering His Gentle Arms of Love
Many years ago Amy Grant used to sing, “I love a lonely day…it chases me to You.”3
Years later I often heard those words echoing back through my mind during times of feeling alone. We can let the inward ache drive us into His ready arms, or simply try to bear it alone in agony.
Eric went through a time of profound loneliness while he was taking a semester off from college. He had just come from a busy schedule at school that included sports, study, and an active social life. He had been surrounded constantly by his good friends. But now, back at home with an empty schedule, while all his buddies were still at school and his family was occupied with their own lives, he felt an intense inward pain as he’d never before known. One day he found himself on his knees, weeping into the fabric of the sofa. The loneliness had become too much to handle. As he cried out to his Lord, he suddenly felt a tremendous peace wash over him. It was almost as if Jesus Himself were kneeling beside Eric, wrapping a tender arm around his shoulder and whispering words of love and comfort to his soul.
That afternoon Eric sat at the piano and wrote the lyrics to what is one of our favorite songs to this day:
I am like a deer, You are like the water.
I run to You, like a son to his Father.
I felt so alone, like a moth without a flame,
But You ignited, and to You I came,
And that’s forever.
I felt so alone like a ship without a sea.
But You gave me water,
You took my hand and said to me,
“This is for eternity.”
I’ll never be lonely,
I’ll never be lonely with You.
I’ve got this feeling that You’re here to stay,
And I know I’ll never be lonely with You.
It’s so exciting to know that though we may be singing a solo in life, we are never truly alone! Singleness is an opportunity to allow Christ’s gentle arms to encircle our hearts and discover how very much He loves us.
2. Singleness allows time to focus on practical preparation.
Discovering and Developing Talents and Life Skills
God has created us each with unique gifts, abilities, and heart desires. He has a master plan for each of our lives. Singleness is a time to seek Him with an undivided, undistracted heart. When a relationship comes into our life, often who we are as an individual gets swallowed up, and our identity becomes wrapped up in that other person. Being single is an opportunity to discover who God has made us to be and what He has called us to in this life.
Before Eric and I started our relationship, I went through a time where it seemed that opportunities for me to minister to young women were flooding into my life. As a single person, I had the time and energy to focus on this “informal” ministry. I loved every minute spending time with these girls. I spent hours responding to letters, taking them out to lunch, or seeking to encourage them over the phone. I realized through this experience that the Lord was showing me one of the forms of ministry for which He had created me. If I had been in a relationship, focused entirely on getting married, most likely I wouldn’t have had the time or energy to discover or pursue this call in my life. The skills I developed during that time helped prepare me for the ministry God later called Eric and me to as a team.
Ann, from chapter 8, is using this season of singleness to hone her natural talents and God-given desires. She has been able to grow in areas such as music, writing, and public speaking skills.
“With a relationship in my life,” she told me, “I would probably never be able to give these areas the time and attention needed to really blossom them into useful skills. I value the chance to focus on pursuing these desires.”
One of my closest friends is Molly, a bubbly, attractive blonde with a great sense of humor. At twenty-one, she is using this season of solo in her life to broaden her horizons with things she’s always wanted to do. During the week, she works for a corporation as an administrative assistant. In her free time, she is studying voice and developing her skills as a musician. She is also taking time to serve others.
“I may never be this free in my life again,” she reasons, “so I want to use it to bless others as much as possible.”
Molly took a counselor’s training course at her local crisis pregnancy center and now volunteers weekly as a counselor to the center’s clients.
Kyle, a 22-year-old single from New Zealand, is using this time in his life to experience the mission field through short-term mission trips. He has been to several countries to serve needy people and share the Gospel. It’s an experience that has changed his life, broadened his horizons, led him closer to the Lord, and helped him discover the areas where he is most gifted. He is learning how to use his unique gifts for God’s glory.
What are the desires of your heart? To train as a musician or athlete? To pursue a college education? To backpack across the country? To go into missionary work? Maybe it’s even to simply spend a season at home serving your own family and community in practical ways. Singleness can be the perfect time for developing life skills and discovering how to use your talents for the Lord.
Human Beings Are Just So Surprising! =)
A man had a dream that he had an interview with God,
“Come in,” God said. “So,you would like to interview me?”
If you have the time,”I said.
God smiled and said:”My time is eternity and is enough to do everything;what question do you have in mind to ask Me?
“What surprises you most about mankind?”
God answered:”That they get bored of being children,are in a rush to grow up,and then long to be children again.That they lose their health to make money and then lose their money to restore their health.That by thinking anxiously,about the future,they forget the present,such that they live neither for the present nor the future.
That they live as if they will never die,and they as if they had never lived.”I asked again:”As a parent,what are some of life’s lessons you want your children to learn?”God replied with a smile:”To learn that they cannot make anyone love them.
To learn that it takes years to build trust,and a few seconds to destroy it.To learn that what is valuable is not WHAT they have in their lives,but WHO they have in their lives.To learn that it is not good to compare themselves with others.All will be judged individually on their own merits!To learn that a rich person is not the one who has the most,but is the one who needs the least.
To learn that it takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in persons we love,and that it many years to heal them.To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness.To learn that there are persons that love them dearly,but simply do not know how to express or show their feelings.
To learn that money can buy everything but happiness.To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it totally different.
God Has Amazing Things in Store for You
(This is a heavy prayer)
Stars do not struggle to shine;
rivers do not struggle to flow,
and you will never struggle to excel in life,
because you deserve the best.
Hold on to your dream and it shall be well with you…
Amen.
FW: How can I know if it’s God’s Will? =)
Why don’t you ask him and then wait patiently as he answers. He really will answer and the fact that you asked him instead of just trying to find someone on your own is something that he certainly will be pleased with. God has a great reputation for “hooking up” couples. I will leave you some of his best examples to encourage your path.
1. He brought Eve to Adam and placed them in an exotic garden to have fun and build a relationship. Don’t be suprised if he has your man on a beach somewhere or some exotic location.
2. He set up the first beauty pagent to bring Esther to her man. God is all for looking great and feeling good. He loves women to look beautiful.
3. Issac got his bride as a result of her feeding a herd of camels water for his servant who was sent to find him a bride. He prayed for a hard working woman and he came along. He must have wanted somebody sturdy and God knew it.
4. Ruth found her man by being at the right spot at the right time. She was in a field working and Boaz said, who is that knock out, tell her stay right with my other
women in the field and give her whatever she wants.
5. Moses’ wife was minding her own business in the field when God literally dropped him at her feet after his long trek in the desert fleeing Egypt. He had just about passed out from desert heat and she was right there at a water well.
6. Joseph’s wife was brought to him as a gift by the Pharoah, just like that. She was a blessing to him after his pain and suffering. He went from the prison to the palace to the altar.
All these were divine connections. God did all of the match making. There was no guess work. He did it perfectly and these marriages lasted. Ask him provide a mate. Establishing relationship is really something he enjoys.
ON MARRIAGE & SOUL MATES
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Marriage and Becoming Soul Mates Is there such a thing as Soul Mates in marriage? I have heard stories about couples who in ending their marriage said, “We just weren’t soul mates.” Whether there is only one person for us in the world is a topic hotly debated by Christians and secular philosophers alike without conclusion. But what many would agree on is that two people committed to a marriage can become soul mates and that is done by cultivating the spiritual aspect of a marriage. Many married couples who have been together for 20 years would still say, “There is something missing in our marriage though we don’t know what it is.” They have fun together, like the same things, don’t argue or fight but still know that there is something keeping their marriage from the fulfillment that should be theirs. For many marriages and relationships in general the missing ingredient is cultivating the spiritual experience. Man is a spiritual being how can one expect fulfillment while denying the most important aspect of his existence? Couples often spend much time cultivating their mind and body but very few cultivate their soul or spirit. They work out together, read together, go to the movies, and sometimes even go to church, but even simply going to church many times is not enough to knit one another spiritually. This must be the most intentional part of the marriage for Jesus said, “Seek first the Kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you (Mat 6:33).” For many couples considering separation, divorce or simply seeking answers much of these things would be remedied if they would simply address the issue of order. Before providing food on the table, making money or having fun, first must come the issue of the soul. It is the highest part of our being with which we have a relationship with God and the part that will never die. Jesus taught his disciples to “seek first the Kingdom of God ,” which is the sphere in which God is rules and is worshiped. Couples may help do this by going to church, serving in ministry together in some form, but it also must be intentionally sought at home within the family. Who ideally should take the initiative in the marriage of cultivating this area? Certainly both husband and wife have a responsibility but biblically owness is put on the husband to lead the family in spiritual growth. The Bible teaches that he must be the spiritual leader of not only of the wife but of the children. Ephesians 6:25,26 “Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her, to make her holy cleansing her by the washing with water through the word.” The way Christ loved the church is by dying for her but also teaching her the word. Husbands must take more responsibility in making their wives holy by the word for God will hold them accountable for it. This must be his chief calling in the home for he is to be committed to his wife even before children. I think more support for the husband being a teacher at home is given in I Corinthians 14:35. After telling the women to practice restraint in the church he says, “If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their husbands at home.” If a husband and wife are to be soulmates the primary responsibility must fall on the man. He is to be the pastor of the home which includes not just going to church as seen in I Corinthians 14 but teaching at home. I think I struggle with this. When I first got married we started off reading scriptures every night before bed but often time would get the best of us and it would fall by the wayside. To be honest I have found that nightly prayer for like 10 to 15 minutes has been amazing. In prayer we can talk to God about problems, fears, struggles even in our marriage and let God heal those in prayer. I have also learned the power of having my wife laying hands on me and praying when I am sick or falling to worry or depression. It often makes a big difference. I have not found a great solution for everybody in the area of teaching, but certainly this can be addressed in prayer as well. Each man must bring the part of leading spiritually and teaching before God and find out how he can better lead and wash his wife with the word personally at home. A weekly time of going to a worship service together will aid, but this will be enhanced by quality spiritual time at home. This may come in a nightly or morning devotional or simply a time of discussing what God is saying to each other individually. It may come in taking vacations to study, read, pray, serve or be taught together as a time of fasting. God will provide the means for his men to look like his Son in the area of “washing their wives with the word.” What about women whose husbands are spiritually lethargic? In that case the woman will have to be faithful to her husband by modeling Christ in the effort that God would lead him to the role he has called him to. Many women give up in this pursuit and eventually fail to persevere in prayer for their husbands. Let them always look like the woman who came to the King and made him weary by her many request until eventually he answered her prayer. How much more will God answer his children who come before him day and night (Luke 18:1-7)? They should be sure to make known their desire to their husbands with sincerity and yet without nagging him. Many husbands are turned away from God by nagging wives who are not displaying the love and patience of Christ. God will move in his own timing and the wife should not loose hope. When He does, certainly the faithful wife will have been a great catalyst in the process. In concluding, man’s highest privilege above all creation is that he was made to worship God. He was given a spirit and not just a mind and body like the animals. Without worship man begins to resemble the animals driven by their basest desires: food, sex and even power. This worship of man is possibly most fulfilled in the area of marriage, for it was in the area of marriage that Adam and Eve together were made “in the image of God.” When a couple leaves the highest pursuit of marriage for lesser pursuits it will always fall short of God’s ordained plan for marriage. Is there such a thing as soul mates? Yes, but it comes by giving priority to cultivating the highest experience of man and this is as a worshiping being. It is accomplished by giving mutual attention to the area of our spirit in knowing and experiencing God. Let all marriages return to their highest form in knowing and modeling God.
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Azahar, Ecru, Talisman, Vignette?
Bouquets
In pre-War World II days, Philippine brides carried imitation orange blossoms (azahar) in their bouquets or wore them as crowns over their veils. The head wreath is a relic of Greek and Roman times when the corona nuptials indicated triumph. The orange plant like its cousins – the native dalanghita, dalandan and calamansi – are evergreen and symbolize fecundity(abundance).
Among Ifugao brides, the bridal “bouquet” is also a fertility talisman – thus she carries a small smoking bundle of rice straw on the second day of the marriage feast. As she deposits some of her “bouquet” at ritual sites, she utters a prayer for many children and economic sufficiency.
Color of the Bride-Ecru
A great favorite among the Filipino brides is ecru, the color of piña and jusi, two delicate native fabrics of gossamer silkiness particularly becoming to the Filipina complexion. In the past century, brides wore daintily embroidered baro (blouse) atop a Maria Clara skirt with interlarded panels of richly colored silk. The white wedding dress only came to the Philippines with the Americans, gaining popularity in the Twenties, along with bridal showers, Lohengrin wedding march, wedding cakes and June weddings.
Vignette: the Filipino Bride
“The composure with which the Filipino girl enters matrimony is astounding,” marveled Mary H. Fee, in the early 1099’s. “There are no tears, no self-conscious blushes, none of the charming shyness that encompasses an American girl as a garment. It is a contradictory state of affairs, I must admit, for this same American girl is a self-reliant creature, accustomed to the widest range of action of liberty, while the matter-of-fact, self-possessed Filipina has been reared to find it impossible to step across the street without attendance. But the free, liberty-loving American yields shyly to her captor, while the sedateness of the prospective matron has already take possession of her dusky sister.”
Catch Me, You Can’t! =)
August 11, 2007: SIGNING ON!
Hear ye! Hear ye! It is my first day to have an online diary of thoughts. Well, not online since I will be pouring my emotions in here… my baby Laptop. Ten years after UPCAT. Eleven years, I mean. Geesh! I am overwhelmed with emotions.
First, thank You so much! Indeed, You are always here for me and my family. I really do not know why You keep on choosing to bless me, Your very unworthy child. Yet so loved. Thank You po!!!
Second, I am about to set the standard of how to use this one. Should I edit my thoughts firsthandedly? But if I keep on doing that, I will never become a true writer. So, I decided to just be me. Free and natural!
Third, what should I call to this gift? Well, can I call you Peyups? Please say yes, ok? Peyupsky! Preppy and cool, way so nostalgic, too!
Fourth, watch out for the rebirth of my muse, given by my Ultimate Guide. Lord, bless me please. Perhaps this silence that my brother and I are having is part of the Grand Plan. Everything happens for a purpose.
Fifth, I suddenly fell in love with music! Suddenly, everything becomes colorful. So, I am humbly asking You, Lord God, to please bless Peyupsky as You keep on blessing our health and happiness. We need You, Lord God! And deep within my stubborn heart lies a soul that thirsts for Your love and compassion. I live my life for You!
Sixth, I wish to grow old with this journal of sentiments as a proof that once, there was a little Guia of Laguna, Philippines. Someone who lived her life to the fullest.
Seventh and last for tonight, I want to express my love, happiness and sorrow, sudden bursts of emotions…
This is me, Guia, signing on! =)
~ ~ ~
CATCH ME IF YOU CAN…
Ito ang drama ko. Panay kasi ang armalite ko ng mga ideya sa samu’t saring blogs. At kung sakaling makita nga ninyo itong (medyo paborito kong) ANSINAG, wala pa ito sa limang porsyento ng aking ibinabato sa mahiwagang mundo ng cyberspace. Sawa na kasi akong maging biktima ng mga stalkers. (Alam ninyo na kung sinu-sino kayo, hehehe!=) Kaya naman bilang pag-aruga sa aking madamdaming pakikipag-usap sa Diyos, sa bayan, sa kalikasan at sa pamilya ko, pinili kong iwisik-wisik ang purong-puro kong emosyon. Nang sa gayon ay hindi na ako muling ma-eskandalo, hehehe! =) Masyado kasi akong magmahal kaya lubha rin akong makadama ng sakit at pighati.
O siya, tama na nga! =) CATCH ME… NOT! =) ‘Coz I can never EVER be caught! Ciao! =)
On how to be patient & loving…
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THE NAIL
(A Short Story From ANON)
There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that
he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. WHEN YOU SAY THINGS IN ANGER, THEY LEAVE A SCAR JUST LIKE THIS ONE. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say I’m sorry, THE WOUND IS STILL THERE. ” A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.
Friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us.
HOW TO WRITE EFFECTIVELY daw =)
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Checklists
Use this list to revise and edit before you turn in the final copy of your writing. |
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Ideas and Content |
ü The topic is narrow and manageable. ü A clear, central theme drives the writing. ü Reader’s questions are anticipated and answered. ü Lots of showing (specifics) rather than telling (generalities). ü Quality of details matters more than quantity – accuracy counts! ü Question: Did the writer stay focused and share original and fresh information or perspective about the topic? |
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Organization |
ü Inviting introduction gets you started and then allows the writer to drive from there. ü Thoughtful transitions link key points and ideas. ü Sequencing is logical, purposeful, and effective. ü Pacing – speeding up for wide angle/slowing down for close-ups – is under control. ü Conclusion wraps it all up and leaves you thinking… ü Question: Does the organizational structure enhance the ideas and make it easier to understand? |
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Voice |
ü You feel a strong connection to the writer. ü You want to read this piece (or parts of it) aloud to someone else. ü There’s a big difference between placid sincerity and powerful engagement. ü Voice takes on different form as the purpose and audience for writing changes. ü No matter what, without voice, it’s boring! ü Question: Would you keep reading this piece if it were longer? |
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Word Choice |
ü Lively, active verbs are a top priority. ü Correct words are good – precise words are spectacular. ü Precision demonstrated in choosing words and phrases to match the purpose for writing. ü Well-crafted natural language is more effective than thesaurus overload. ü Variety, originality and accuracy are valued over redundancy, jargon, and slang. ü Question: Do the words and phrases create vivid pictures in your mind? |
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Sentence Fluency |
ü Listen for the rhythm and cadence – even if the punctuation is not yet present or correct. ü Sentences begin in different ways and often end in a noun or verb. ü Creative and varied use of sentence length and structure. ü Fragments are deliberate and add style and flair as suited to the topic and audience. ü Question: Can you FEEL the words and phrases flow together as you read it aloud? |
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Conventions |
ü Consider all these key components: spelling, punctuation, capitalization, grammar and usage, and paragraphing. ü Spelling is a hot spot – beware! ü The text should look clean, edited, and polished. ü Question: How much editing would have to be done to be ready to share with an outside audience? |
